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[He wasn't expecting the text. For a split second he is even more unsettled because it feels as though his mind's been read, because his mind is currently turning that conversation over and over in his head with the added sense that he desperately wants to smoke.
But, the split-second is short as he registers that it's Cliff and he knows Cliff saw that whole thing.]
Honestly? I don't mean to say this in an insulting way, but he's probably not human. Red eyes, white hair, talks like he's never talked to a real person before in his life. It's not a definite thing, but with those tells, he's a strong contender for one of those alien or other types.
[That's just how it be in this bitch of a multiverse.]
I probably should've expected being that honest would land me with questions I don't like much. Or answers I don't like much.
But, the split-second is short as he registers that it's Cliff and he knows Cliff saw that whole thing.]
Honestly? I don't mean to say this in an insulting way, but he's probably not human. Red eyes, white hair, talks like he's never talked to a real person before in his life. It's not a definite thing, but with those tells, he's a strong contender for one of those alien or other types.
[That's just how it be in this bitch of a multiverse.]
I probably should've expected being that honest would land me with questions I don't like much. Or answers I don't like much.
maybe
I've known some guys that weren't human and one of them would creep me out with what he said
but he wasn't going around doing that just because
he had other reasons for wanting to
['get under my skin', he almost sends before furiously backspacing and rewriting. Fuck that phrasing in particular on this subject.]
get to know me
not good ones
I don't know
maybe he's fine but he's still creepy as fuck and I don't think not being human is that great of an excuse
[Cliff manages... But then, he's half-human, or...something. Raised by them, at the very least. Human enough to not be the same as this guy, even if both Kaworu and himself had similarities to Raven.]
you know what I meant when I said I wasn't happy with the changes, right?
I've known some guys that weren't human and one of them would creep me out with what he said
but he wasn't going around doing that just because
he had other reasons for wanting to
['get under my skin', he almost sends before furiously backspacing and rewriting. Fuck that phrasing in particular on this subject.]
get to know me
not good ones
I don't know
maybe he's fine but he's still creepy as fuck and I don't think not being human is that great of an excuse
[Cliff manages... But then, he's half-human, or...something. Raised by them, at the very least. Human enough to not be the same as this guy, even if both Kaworu and himself had similarities to Raven.]
you know what I meant when I said I wasn't happy with the changes, right?
It really depends on the non-human, I find. Some are just as normal as anyone. Some take more time and practice before they figure it out. Some can manage but just don't care. I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt that this kid isn't some secret demon. The bad kind.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
[He's a little slower to respond to the last question. Those doubts nag.]
I know you wouldn't want me dead. Destroyed. Insane. There's not a good way to put it given everything. But I know you and Nekane wouldn't want that. You're both better than that. I won't insult either of you by suggesting otherwise.
But I don't know. Nekane would say that what-ifs are stupid, but maybe I could've done something differently. It's not as though being like this really protected me or them all that much. I could find a way to forget everything, I'd at least be as I was in the land of the dead. But Nekane would be furious and I think I'm too scared of repeating mistakes to do something like that again.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
[He's a little slower to respond to the last question. Those doubts nag.]
I know you wouldn't want me dead. Destroyed. Insane. There's not a good way to put it given everything. But I know you and Nekane wouldn't want that. You're both better than that. I won't insult either of you by suggesting otherwise.
But I don't know. Nekane would say that what-ifs are stupid, but maybe I could've done something differently. It's not as though being like this really protected me or them all that much. I could find a way to forget everything, I'd at least be as I was in the land of the dead. But Nekane would be furious and I think I'm too scared of repeating mistakes to do something like that again.
it's fine
[He might have continued with his rote response if he were speaking, but this is already more texting than he was used to doing, and it really wasn't a big enough deal, especially with Héctor, to say anymore more on it.]
so what if what-ifs are stupid? they go the other way too
you don't know that you didn't protect anyone by changing
or if there was anything you could even do to not change
forgetting things like for real forgetting hasn't done anyone any good in my experience
[He might have continued with his rote response if he were speaking, but this is already more texting than he was used to doing, and it really wasn't a big enough deal, especially with Héctor, to say anymore more on it.]
so what if what-ifs are stupid? they go the other way too
you don't know that you didn't protect anyone by changing
or if there was anything you could even do to not change
forgetting things like for real forgetting hasn't done anyone any good in my experience
[Ah. At last. He's picking up on it. The it's fine being code for it wasn't fine even a little bit.]
No. You're right. It didn't help me before either. I think forgetting even for a little bit made things worse.
Everyone I cared about got hurt. I tore myself apart and they all suffered anyway. I think the only thing I succeeded in was making myself a bad person. But I don't know what else I could have done. The smart things to do in the long run always feel like the worst things to do in the moment.
[He could have left Dodger at that bar. He could've left him drunk, miserable, and vulnerable and let the demons do what they willed, never seeing him again. But he couldn't. Not after what happened to him. It would've made him scum. But it would have spared them all so much.]
Are you alright?
You said he reminded you of some bad people.
No. You're right. It didn't help me before either. I think forgetting even for a little bit made things worse.
Everyone I cared about got hurt. I tore myself apart and they all suffered anyway. I think the only thing I succeeded in was making myself a bad person. But I don't know what else I could have done. The smart things to do in the long run always feel like the worst things to do in the moment.
[He could have left Dodger at that bar. He could've left him drunk, miserable, and vulnerable and let the demons do what they willed, never seeing him again. But he couldn't. Not after what happened to him. It would've made him scum. But it would have spared them all so much.]
Are you alright?
You said he reminded you of some bad people.
sometimes you can't stop people from getting hurt even if you try for a long time
just stick around after I guess
nah I didn't think about it until after the not human thing
just thought he was really annoying and freaky
not as pushy as the other guy so at least he's got that going for him
just stick around after I guess
nah I didn't think about it until after the not human thing
just thought he was really annoying and freaky
not as pushy as the other guy so at least he's got that going for him
Well, I can do that for one person at least.
You've got some wisdom in that head of yours.
Sorry about putting the thought in your head, in that case.
For what it's worth, demons aside, most of the non-humans I've met are kind people.
Hell also aside.
You've got some wisdom in that head of yours.
Sorry about putting the thought in your head, in that case.
For what it's worth, demons aside, most of the non-humans I've met are kind people.
Hell also aside.
Ah, if only.
That would save so much trouble.
Maybe a big red mark on the forehead that says jerk.
That would do it.
That would save so much trouble.
Maybe a big red mark on the forehead that says jerk.
That would do it.
Naturally making you the dedicated shoe-stamper.
That's a big job, do you think you can handle it?
That's a big job, do you think you can handle it?
[SO sad.]
Good man.
You do a service for all of us.
Good man.
You do a service for all of us.
A public holiday.
It can't be too hard to instate those, right?
Maybe even the highest of honors
a gift basket.
It can't be too hard to instate those, right?
Maybe even the highest of honors
a gift basket.
I DO know about poptarts!
[He knows a thing!!!]
When I first got in hell, I had two younger roommates, both from the future.
They loved those things.
It was some sort of knock-off of course, but I stole some for Nekane one time because they said it was the only thing that would get them to crawl out from under the bed and let me fix their wings.
Got to try a piece.
[Confirmed, teenage boys and Nekane love poptarts.]
[He knows a thing!!!]
When I first got in hell, I had two younger roommates, both from the future.
They loved those things.
It was some sort of knock-off of course, but I stole some for Nekane one time because they said it was the only thing that would get them to crawl out from under the bed and let me fix their wings.
Got to try a piece.
[Confirmed, teenage boys and Nekane love poptarts.]
They told me they're late twenty-something but I don't think they actually know.
They like to burrow.
I asked them where they got that instinct from that same day but they just said it's how they are.
Under the bed, closet, wherever's small and enclosed without being pitch black.
Which is how the fort was born.
No more being stupid with the wings. Hypothetically.
They like to burrow.
I asked them where they got that instinct from that same day but they just said it's how they are.
Under the bed, closet, wherever's small and enclosed without being pitch black.
Which is how the fort was born.
No more being stupid with the wings. Hypothetically.
Edited 2021-09-16 20:43 (UTC)
I did wonder sometimes.
I think I said something like that, how when I was a kid, I tried to get to the top of every building, get up somewhere I couldn't be overlooked or forgotten.
I wondered why they wouldn't want to just fly away from everything.
But I guess the obvious answer is that it didn't work and hiding was the best way to watch their back, especially when there wasn't another option anymore.
But that's getting into the bad stuff again.
In any case, making the fort is nice.
It's kind of fun and it makes things feel more like home wherever we end up.
I think I said something like that, how when I was a kid, I tried to get to the top of every building, get up somewhere I couldn't be overlooked or forgotten.
I wondered why they wouldn't want to just fly away from everything.
But I guess the obvious answer is that it didn't work and hiding was the best way to watch their back, especially when there wasn't another option anymore.
But that's getting into the bad stuff again.
In any case, making the fort is nice.
It's kind of fun and it makes things feel more like home wherever we end up.
yeah that's a super bummer
a fort sounds right up the Rivera alley though
I did wonder what was up with that when I was there
but assuming they sleep there, what about you? there was only one bed and it was made
don't tell me you're a weirdo that actually makes beds
a fort sounds right up the Rivera alley though
I did wonder what was up with that when I was there
but assuming they sleep there, what about you? there was only one bed and it was made
don't tell me you're a weirdo that actually makes beds
Is it weird to make beds?
[Why is it weird to make beds? Modern people baffle him.]
But, well, I don't sleep well, honestly.
Neither of us does, for obvious reasons, but I also got used to just crashing wherever or sleeping in a hammock when I lived in shantytown.
I keep falling asleep at the table or on the couch or just on top of the covers.
[He'll fix that habit... eventually.]
[Why is it weird to make beds? Modern people baffle him.]
But, well, I don't sleep well, honestly.
Neither of us does, for obvious reasons, but I also got used to just crashing wherever or sleeping in a hammock when I lived in shantytown.
I keep falling asleep at the table or on the couch or just on top of the covers.
[He'll fix that habit... eventually.]
uh yeah you're just going to mess it up again
what's the point if you don't have someone nagging you about it
oh there was some kind
oaxacan?
Teto had one of those so I got the bed when we were visiting Santa Cecilia
what the fuck don't fall asleep at the table though
the other stuff is fine
what's the point if you don't have someone nagging you about it
oh there was some kind
oaxacan?
Teto had one of those so I got the bed when we were visiting Santa Cecilia
what the fuck don't fall asleep at the table though
the other stuff is fine
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