Reassured!? Not, "this might upset Dodger later?" or "maybe this is a reason to be afraid of you?" or "I didn't want this kind of blood adjacent to my hands?!"
[And then the hands are back. Oh god.]
Yes. He wanted to help. Kind of like you wanted to help with this, I guess!
[He's just... got to breathe enough not to scream or cry or completely lose his mind.]
He wanted me to eat something and he found-- I don't what he told you, but it wasn't good and if I had it, it would've put a sin on my list so I told him no! We fought about it and he- he warned me that I was pissing him off and I just thought, if I go for it, if I make him kill me, then that saves me a sin so I did it. I tried everything I could until-- well, he apparently told you that part.
What does it matter if he's upset? He'll come after me, not you.
[ He smirks wryly at Hector while using two fingers to make sure Dodger does, too. ]
You don't always get what you want, amigo.
[ Oh, he doesn't like the comparison at all, as is probably obvious from his expression, nonetheless, he listens. He listens and raises an eyebrow. ]
All I'm hearing is that it's definitely his fault. He tried to make you commit a monstrosity, and when you did not agree, killed you. He never even bothered to ask what was at stake for you. [ He shrugs. ] Honestly I'd say he got off too easy.
[ He leans in closer with a scowl. ]
Have I ever forced your hand, Héctor? When I wanted you to fucking man up and kill something or someone, did I ever strike you down when you didn't? [ He leans away, a shadow of distaste in the way his mouth presses together. ] There's nothing "kind of like" between this and that.
[Come after you, is what he was going to say, but Squalo makes good work in shutting him up. Even with the way he keeps puppeting Dodger, making him shudder.
He shrinks in on himself as Squalo steps closer, eyes darting between the man's face and that head. But very soon, his gaze becomes fixed on Squalo, silent as he listens.
He doesn't know how close to home he hits. No one's asked him to kill before but much of his life has been spent following the will of another, minding moods, watching, carefuly, in case he stepped too far and lost that friendship he held so dear. He was murdered the third time by Dodger because he resisted what he was told. But it's the first time he was murdered, the realization of it, that had shaken him up more. (Until now, maybe.)
It's with dull horror and a little despair that it registers that Squalo, who brings him corpse pieces like this, has been kinder to him.]
...No. You've never forced me to do anything.
[At last, his eyes dart down and away.]
I'm sorry. You're right. Would you please get that... away though? I don't want to see it. Please...
[ He gives the head a little mock kiss to the hairline, tucks it under his arm and watches the cascade of emotions on Hector's face. He's pretty sure what he said has reached him -- unsurprising, considering it was true, but it seemed there was more to it, perhaps something the other man hasn't shared with him. ]
[ His expression shifts back into a smirk that's almost like a smile. ]
Good. Then we have an understanding.
[ He glances back at the head. ]
Oh, this? I was going to bury it, but I thought if you wanted to keep it for a while, it could wait...
[ Definitely doesn't look like Hector wants to keep it, though. ]
[He hopes so, he thinks. He doesn't want Squalo killed. But, it does seem like he's got a handle on things now.
That kiss makes him shudder though.
He makes a face. It'd be thoughtful if it weren't just deeply disturbing. He repeats;]
Please.
[It makes him wonder what was done to his body, back home. Surely nothing so gruesome. But what then? He doesn't know. It was never something he thought he'd have to worry about.
His eyes go down. And then they close, his arms wrapping around himself.]
... It wasn't food poisoning. [This may seem out of the blue but-] The thing I died from the first time. It wasn't that. My best friend suggested as I was dying and I believed him. He poisoned me. I didn't know until Dodger explained how things work.
I'm trying to process two different murders right now from two different friends and it's a lot. I need time. And I don't think I'm the kind of person who can handle stuff like severed heads anyway. Sorry.
[ Squalo raises his eyebrows a bit. This did make sense, and Hector had never really told him about his symptoms in the first place so he didn't have reason to doubt it, but now... it's like a bunch of puzzle pieces crashing into place. ]
Well, it's technically still food poisoning... just, y'know, with poison.
[ He gives Hector a worried look. It would probably work better if he wasn't bloody up to his elbows and still holding a severed head though. ]
[He looks up with an expression simply too exhausted to be amused. He wishes he hadn't, because Squalo is covered in blood and holding a head. He still feels like he could throw up and he's grateful that he very much physically can't.
[Inoffensive. That's new. Then again, compared to some of the other residents of Hell he can see how someone would think that.
The question is uncomfortable, even without Squalo speaking to Dodger's head.]
I don't know that either. He's not crazy he's just...
[He doesn't know. His best friend is a murderer. Did he really know anything?]
We fought. We were partners on tour and I told him I was done. I packed my songs, my guitar. I just wanted to go home. I'd hardly ever told him no before.
[Only Squalo would take that dry thanks. He looks at the man, deadpanned.
Maybe he'll appreciate the honest asshole later. Maybe.]
I... okay. [Protesting this is probably not going to go far.] But if I do, hypothetically, call you to be a hit man... [Not going to happen.] Please don't bring back their body parts.
[ Why not? It's literally this man's whole career. ]
Sure. [ He waves his free hand dismissively and grins. ] The customer picks the music.
[ #yeah ]
In the meantime, stop suffering people who try to own you, yeah? If they don't respect your wishes, drop that shit. Don't let them guilt you into staying. You don't owe anyone your friendship, fuck, you don't owe anyone anything.
But he does get what Squalo goes on to say. He hugs his arms to his chest, looking down. He wants to say it's not so simple. He was murdered for this. But, could he not have left Ernesto sooner? Did he have to stop and turn back in the doorway?]
I guess... at the time... it seemed more like they were trying to be friends than own me.
[And that's going to make things really hard.]
But you're right. The only ones I owe are my family.
Yeah, you gotta work on that. [ Squalo waves a hand impatiently. ] You don't look like someone who can't read people, maybe you just really don't want to see the bad. 'Nd that's no good. You owe staying alive to your family, right? Never forget it's not just you getting hurt.
[ When you let people walk over you, you're hurting your family. This is what Squalo's trying to express, because he assumes if Hector doesn't want to be more strict for himself, he sure as hell will for his family. ]
Think on it. Lemme know whenever you need someone's head popped.
[Maybe he doesn't want to see the bad. Maybe that's what that one sin on his list is; urning a blind eye.
But he's not sure he could have expected Squalo to twist that knife in. Sharply, his head goes up.
Squalo's right. Because he didn't pay attention, his wife is having to mind their family on her own. Because he looked away, Coco has no father. Because of him...]
... Okay. Thank you.
[And that, there, is the closest he's come so far to that slippery slope of considering actually being rid of someone. He doesn't like the feeling.]
[ Squalo can see he's hit the target. There's the slightest smirk on his face. ]
Or if anyone bothers you. I'd like to know that too.
[ Hopefully Hector realizes that for the codeword it's supposed to be. Telling someone to kill somebody else would potentially count as sin for his list. Venting to a pal about someone bothering him, though? Well, there's no telling what that pal will do with such information, so it wouldn't be on him. ]
[ He raises his free hand in a lazy wave as he heads for the door. ]
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no subject
Reassured!? Not, "this might upset Dodger later?" or "maybe this is a reason to be afraid of you?" or "I didn't want this kind of blood adjacent to my hands?!"
[And then the hands are back. Oh god.]
Yes. He wanted to help. Kind of like you wanted to help with this, I guess!
[He's just... got to breathe enough not to scream or cry or completely lose his mind.]
He wanted me to eat something and he found-- I don't what he told you, but it wasn't good and if I had it, it would've put a sin on my list so I told him no! We fought about it and he- he warned me that I was pissing him off and I just thought, if I go for it, if I make him kill me, then that saves me a sin so I did it. I tried everything I could until-- well, he apparently told you that part.
no subject
[ He smirks wryly at Hector while using two fingers to make sure Dodger does, too. ]
You don't always get what you want, amigo.
[ Oh, he doesn't like the comparison at all, as is probably obvious from his expression, nonetheless, he listens. He listens and raises an eyebrow. ]
All I'm hearing is that it's definitely his fault. He tried to make you commit a monstrosity, and when you did not agree, killed you. He never even bothered to ask what was at stake for you. [ He shrugs. ] Honestly I'd say he got off too easy.
[ He leans in closer with a scowl. ]
Have I ever forced your hand, Héctor? When I wanted you to fucking man up and kill something or someone, did I ever strike you down when you didn't? [ He leans away, a shadow of distaste in the way his mouth presses together. ] There's nothing "kind of like" between this and that.
no subject
[Come after you, is what he was going to say, but Squalo makes good work in shutting him up. Even with the way he keeps puppeting Dodger, making him shudder.
He shrinks in on himself as Squalo steps closer, eyes darting between the man's face and that head. But very soon, his gaze becomes fixed on Squalo, silent as he listens.
He doesn't know how close to home he hits. No one's asked him to kill before but much of his life has been spent following the will of another, minding moods, watching, carefuly, in case he stepped too far and lost that friendship he held so dear. He was murdered the third time by Dodger because he resisted what he was told. But it's the first time he was murdered, the realization of it, that had shaken him up more. (Until now, maybe.)
It's with dull horror and a little despair that it registers that Squalo, who brings him corpse pieces like this, has been kinder to him.]
...No. You've never forced me to do anything.
[At last, his eyes dart down and away.]
I'm sorry. You're right. Would you please get that... away though? I don't want to see it. Please...
no subject
[ He gives the head a little mock kiss to the hairline, tucks it under his arm and watches the cascade of emotions on Hector's face. He's pretty sure what he said has reached him -- unsurprising, considering it was true, but it seemed there was more to it, perhaps something the other man hasn't shared with him. ]
[ His expression shifts back into a smirk that's almost like a smile. ]
Good. Then we have an understanding.
[ He glances back at the head. ]
Oh, this? I was going to bury it, but I thought if you wanted to keep it for a while, it could wait...
[ Definitely doesn't look like Hector wants to keep it, though. ]
Suppose I'll be getting on that soon, then.
no subject
That kiss makes him shudder though.
He makes a face. It'd be thoughtful if it weren't just deeply disturbing. He repeats;]
Please.
[It makes him wonder what was done to his body, back home. Surely nothing so gruesome. But what then? He doesn't know. It was never something he thought he'd have to worry about.
His eyes go down. And then they close, his arms wrapping around himself.]
... It wasn't food poisoning. [This may seem out of the blue but-] The thing I died from the first time. It wasn't that. My best friend suggested as I was dying and I believed him. He poisoned me. I didn't know until Dodger explained how things work.
I'm trying to process two different murders right now from two different friends and it's a lot. I need time. And I don't think I'm the kind of person who can handle stuff like severed heads anyway. Sorry.
no subject
Well, it's technically still food poisoning... just, y'know, with poison.
[ He gives Hector a worried look. It would probably work better if he wasn't bloody up to his elbows and still holding a severed head though. ]
I'm sorry.
[ And also, ]
You really need to pick your "friends" better.
[ y'know ]
[ like him ]
no subject
He sighs.]
I know.
[He just doesn't think he knows how.
Especially in Hell.]
no subject
[ He glances down at "Dodger", eyebrow raised and lips pursed slightly as if expecting an answer from the head. ]
You're a psychopath, [ ahahahahahahahh ] what about the other guy?
no subject
The question is uncomfortable, even without Squalo speaking to Dodger's head.]
I don't know that either. He's not crazy he's just...
[He doesn't know. His best friend is a murderer. Did he really know anything?]
We fought. We were partners on tour and I told him I was done. I packed my songs, my guitar. I just wanted to go home. I'd hardly ever told him no before.
[He scrubs at his face.]
no subject
There's your pattern. You're a pushover and you gravitate to people who don't take no for an answer.
[ Hopefully it doesn't dissuade him from trying, though. If anything, hearing "no" more often might make them get used to it. ]
no subject
Gee, thanks.
[He's right. But still.]
no subject
[ Isn't it refreshing to have someone be a honest asshole? ]
Anyway, anything like this happens again, you come to me. I'll give 'em a run for their money.
no subject
Maybe he'll appreciate the honest asshole later. Maybe.]
I... okay. [Protesting this is probably not going to go far.] But if I do, hypothetically, call you to be a hit man... [Not going to happen.] Please don't bring back their body parts.
no subject
Sure. [ He waves his free hand dismissively and grins. ] The customer picks the music.
[ #yeah ]
In the meantime, stop suffering people who try to own you, yeah? If they don't respect your wishes, drop that shit. Don't let them guilt you into staying. You don't owe anyone your friendship, fuck, you don't owe anyone anything.
no subject
Yet.]...Right...
[He doesn't get that reference!
But he does get what Squalo goes on to say. He hugs his arms to his chest, looking down. He wants to say it's not so simple. He was murdered for this. But, could he not have left Ernesto sooner? Did he have to stop and turn back in the doorway?]
I guess... at the time... it seemed more like they were trying to be friends than own me.
[And that's going to make things really hard.]
But you're right. The only ones I owe are my family.
no subject
[ When you let people walk over you, you're hurting your family. This is what Squalo's trying to express, because he assumes if Hector doesn't want to be more strict for himself, he sure as hell will for his family. ]
Think on it. Lemme know whenever you need someone's head popped.
[ He gestures at the head under his arm. ]
In the meantime, I've got things to take care of.
no subject
But he's not sure he could have expected Squalo to twist that knife in. Sharply, his head goes up.
Squalo's right. Because he didn't pay attention, his wife is having to mind their family on her own. Because he looked away, Coco has no father. Because of him...]
... Okay. Thank you.
[And that, there, is the closest he's come so far to that slippery slope of considering actually being rid of someone. He doesn't like the feeling.]
no subject
Or if anyone bothers you. I'd like to know that too.
[ Hopefully Hector realizes that for the codeword it's supposed to be. Telling someone to kill somebody else would potentially count as sin for his list. Venting to a pal about someone bothering him, though? Well, there's no telling what that pal will do with such information, so it wouldn't be on him. ]
[ He raises his free hand in a lazy wave as he heads for the door. ]
Later. Take care.