unpocoloco | Daybreak IC Inbox

[It hits him in a heavy wave. First the revelation that he actually slept and dreamt. Then, all contained in the dream. Which parts were real? How was he supposed to tell now?

Maverick's text hits him in the gut, giving suggestion to one part that was.]

Do you need me to meet you in person? If yes, where?

Edited 2019-09-23 08:52 (UTC)

[It really shows how goddamned stressed he is about everything that Héctor agreeing is a dizzying relief. But hm, where... There are only two places he can think of that would be ridiculously warded out of paranoia, but neither Jail's office nor Rex's van are exactly readily available.

And then it hits him. Oh. Fucking duh. The safety that came with privacy was something extremely important to Mama, even above catering to bizarre outlands fuckos That Maverick definitely would have found suspicious and dangerous.]

inn of atropos
front desk will give you room number

[A room that will have an anxiously pacing Maverick inside.]

[His Mamá's place. Out of the way and safe. As he can be that is.]

Alright, I won't be long. I'll see you soon.

[He's glad for the walk, to be honest. He has a lot to think about, and were it him, he'd be left to pace anxiously as well. Being able to actually do something with his thoughts and go somewhere is greatly welcomed.

Were he alive, his pulse would be racing. Sometimes phantom trickery gets him to thinking it is. He gets the number from the front desk with a strained smile, then hurries to the room. He knocks and calls out.]

Maverick? You in there?

Edited 2019-09-23 10:01 (UTC)

[He'd never really entertained the thought of meeting anyone at the inn, but if he had? This wouldn't have been the circumstance. Life sure is funny in a fucking horrible way.

He yanks the door open and pulls Héctor inside, which can't be very fun, but maybe even with that brief contact Héctor will be able to feel the tremble in his too-tight grip. It doesn't really matter, though. Once he closes the door behind him, he's burying his face into his hands and exhaling shakily.]

Did you fucking tell anyone?

[He's jerked forward with a yelp. Not really surprising in theory with needing to hide all this and each other, but definitely surprising in practice. He stumbles into the room and straightens, turning back to see Maverick as shuts the door. He noticed the tremble but he notices something else as he looks back.

He hears the question but it doesn't register. He's busy staring, taking in the angles that aren't there, hidden away, the tips of Maverick's fingers.]

Maverick...! You're...!

[A shuddering laugh of relief breaks and he starts forward, reaching for those hands, wanting to pull them aside and see.]

You're alive! Gracias a Dios. I mean unless-- no you can't have learned that fast, you look too healthy, your hands are warm...

I woke up, and there were some things that were real and some things that weren't. I wasn't sure.

[The laughter makes him lift his head, a blank sort of confusion dawning over him. Wh... What? He doesn't even realize that his lips are twitching into a weak grin or that he's sliding his fingers between Héctor's, holding his hands close and tight.]

Y-yeah. I'm alive. Just a regular-ass, living human. [Thank fucking god.]

[He lets the boy hold his hands, holding tight right back. More faint noises of relief come muffled from the smile he keeps pressing. He leans forward a moment, bumping his forehead to Maverick's for just a second before stepping back. He lets go of just one hand so he can brush the boy's hair out of the way.]

I'm so glad. Don't get me wrong, I don't take any of it back, but I much prefer you getting to live. No dying from now on. Got it, mijo? You've got to get way older than me.

[The bad thing about having skin again is that now his embarrassed, pleased flush is noticeable as shit. It’s...really good to have someone sticking by him, not wanting him to leave. Even without a future, Héctor wants him to live.]

No dying. That’s the plan, Esqueletío.

[He glances away a moment, uncertainty flickering in his eyes again.]

But I’m... I’m alive, I’m fine. So don’t worry about any of that other shit, okay?

[The flush is adorable. If he thought he could get away with it without causing Mav to throw a fit or shut down, he'd definitely tease. Not that he has room to talk, weepy man he is.

His warm smiles lasts just that little bit longer, both for the promise and hearing the nickname is staying.

But then it slips. Good old reality does that.]

That other stuff. You mean everything with your boyfriend.

[It's not a question.]

Maverick, I don't know. It's really great that he didn't kill you. A big relief on all accounts. But, you still thought he could. And he still did... whatever it was he did. You didn't actually fully explain. He also still hasn't told anyone himself. Has he?

["It's really great that [your boyfriend] didn't kill you" probably shouldn't be something he ever had to hear in his lifetime, and he knows that. But still... It winds the tension holding him together up even tighter, to the point where it almost hurts. Surely that's just in his head, though, he tries to reassure himself, the way that the phantom sensations of organs had been in his head.

(Except technically he'd still had organs, his brain unhelpfully supplies. Go be a fucking dick to someone else for a fucking while, Mav internally snaps back at it.)]

He told me. [But it's a weak defense, he knows it.] There's -- there's just a bunch of shit going on, alright? It's fucking complicated...and it ain't my business to tell. I don't go around telling every Tom, Dick, and Harry about you being a fucking skeleton or all that shit that went down with Tía, do I? [mav this isn't the same]

[It is a pitiful defense. Maverick gets a look of sympathy but he's not actually going to budge here. Especially not with all that to follow.]

That is not the same. [As Maverick should full well know.] Me being a skeleton doesn't hurt anybody and telling people about it only hurts me. Telling about Imelda and I only hurts us and we're past that now for that matter.

Not telling people that this guy is deliberately trying to hurt people... hurts people, Maverick! I thought you died! That's a lot of people's business! Including yours! If he succeeds, he sabotages Daybreak against Nightfall. Have you been to the Outlands? There were a lot of times I thought I was in actual Hell out there. A lot. And if he doesn't... I don't know! I don't know what he's doing! But there's no way it can end well! I don't care if it's complicated! All the more reason not to keep this between yourself and the guy who caused this problem in the first place!

[Usually, someone taking a firm stance and raising their voice fires him up, gets him to sneer and lash back because he has the "right" to do so according to some twisted logic he imagined up one day. He could turn it into a real fight, and he could win by whatever means possible.

He doesn't. Maybe he doesn't really want to win this time.]

That isn't... The Daybreak shit isn't the end goal, it's supposed to make some fucking...opportunity, I don't know! His -- the psycho mage is like some corrupted politician, he's just manufacturing a fucking way to swoop in and be a big damn hero! [But it was definitely hurting people, and it definitely, definitely wouldn't work out so nicely. If it had even been a possibility, he wouldn't have had to undermine anyone. Mav knows that.]

He knows he's fucked up, but he's not... He's trying to keep them from sending someone else! Someone that doesn't fucking care! He's not even doing it anymore, I don't... I don't think...

But you don't know!

[And Maverick has enough doubt to all but admit so. That's damning enough. But...]

Say we give him the benefit of doubt. Again. He is in way over his head here. Trust me, there is nothing not crazy with mage politics, and that's without involving actual politicians! He either keeps doing enough damage here to satisfy that guy's psychotic desires or someone else shows up but either way people are at risk! Daybreak needs to know! They need to know who this guy is, they need to know who he works with, and then, then they can even begin to address whatever mess has been left here. That is the best-case scenario.

[He stops, hands in the air as he takes a breath.]

Just... tell me what he's been doing. Unless he hasn't even told you in which case that really puts his confession to you in some serious doubt.

[He takes a step back, hurt eyes narrowing. It's bait. It's bait, and Héctor thinks he's dumb enough to fall for it, dumb enough to sell Akechi out just for the sake of his own pride, and --

There's nothing wrong with you. Héctor had said that, and he needs to cling to it now to keep his voice steady. His breath hitches all the same.]

I'm not an idiot. I made him tell me, and I made him tell me what got him into this mess in the first place. You really think I wouldn't?

[This part is hard to say, though. Not because he wants to protect Akechi as much as he can, but because just thinking about it turns him bitter and hateful, and there's a disgusted crinkle in his nose when he looks away.]

They lose control. The people he uses his power on, they don't fucking care enough to hold themselves back. Atchison and one of my friends, I guess they both went around wrecking shit, or wanting to hurt people, or fucking... [Mav clenches his teeth together for a moment.] Mous -- ...Toki tried to drown himself. [Quickly, as much as he hates himself for it,] But he didn't know any of that was going to happen! His dad wanted Toki dead because of that fucking website he made, but he just wanted to get him on -- on lockdown. He was trying not to hurt people.

Hang on.

[There's a lot here. A lot to react to, a lot that makes him want to protest, to step back. He doesn't think Maverick's an idiot, for one, just that maybe Akechi is really good at this or maybe Maverick's heart is just aching that much for him. The loss of control too hits him like a blow, a hitch in breath and a bit of horror working into his expression. He was there when Avery lost it, he felt the results of it. Toki drowning himself is even worse.

But it's the last part. It's that very end slip he's not even sure was intended that turns his stomach and makes him put his hands out in a stop motion.]

... Hang on. His Dad.

[It's almost a question. He looks like he wants Maverick to correct him. But he heard right and after a moment his hand rises up over his face. There's a muffled hiss from behind his fingers that may very well be a curse.

His hand drops. He walks to the bed and sits, hands braced on his knees as he processes all of this. He's silent for a good long time.]

That's... You know Atchison went at me, right? With a tire iron. Anyone else and it would have seriously messed them up or worse. Avery would have lost everything. And Toki... does he know why he did it? No, it doesn't even matter except for whatever hell it's wrecked on his head, that's so beyond anything okay. I... ay.

[He keeps staring through the floor. He shakes his head.]

No. No, this can't stay secret. It can't. His Dad is the one who's asked for this? How is he supposed to outrun his father when he doesn't do what he's told? How is he supposed to do anything but drag everyone else down with him for every time he does? I don't care what he thinks, there is no way out of this on his own. Somebody has to bring this forward and I mean now.

[He feels cold, like his skin has been peeled away from him again and left him exposed. Fuck. He hadn't -- he hadn't meant to say that. He shouldn't have said that, like he shouldn't have said any of this. He shifts again, a slight nudge in the path to the door to block any attempt Héctor might make to put an end to all of this before he has a chance to get a handle on it again, but when Héctor moves, he moves to the bed.

He can breathe again. Just a little. Well, until Héctor lays out the consequences Maverick kept telling himself he knew all to well. Hearing it out loud sends icy spikes into his heart all over again.]

He's going to confess! He fucking said so! He wants to, he just -- he doesn't want to be locked up, or killed! Even if the fucking school lets him off the hook, if his dad finds out he -- if it was -- [YOU KNOW??? Mav doesn't really know. Everything has gotten so, so fucked up.] If... If he...

[He shudders, and he doesn't bother moving over to the bed before he falls into a sit.]

If he doesn't do it on his own, then I just let it happen. Nothing I did or said mattered. I won't...matter.

[He should move to the floor. But he needs a moment.]

...Maverick. How many times... You matter to me. You matter to Imelda. You matter to your Mamá. To your friends, so many people but... you can't count on people changing to be the reason you matter...! You don't need to prove yourself. The only one who doesn't believe that is you.

[He scrubs at his face with his hands and gets up. Just a short few steps and he can reach for the kid himself, draw him up to his feet, hopefully, draw him to the bed. Or if not, sit down there with him.]

I want you to think for a moment. Think about how you feel right now. About how badly you don't want to tell anyone. And think about how much harder that's going to be for Akechi. People nearly died. If that hasn't pushed him to say anything yet it's only going to keep pushing him to stay silent.

You're not going to just let it happen. Not so long as you say something. Do you understand? Stop waiting for him to prove that you're worthy. No one else can do that for you.

[His eyes drop. He takes a steadying breath. This... is a mess. It's ironic, almost, that he actually feels tired.]

He's not going to be killed. I can give you at least three reasons to guarantee that. He probably won't even be locked up. As for his Dad, once the faculty here knows what's going on, he is not going to be able do a thing here. And neither will any person he sends. But even a slim risk is better than a ticking clock where that guy wins.

[He shakes his head decisively — not because it isn’t true. He knows Ramona loves him, and after the dream he doesn’t doubt Héctor’s feelings, either. He denies the idea because it’s different. When he opens his mouth to protect and focuses back in, he’s met with the offer of the other man’s hands. He takes them in a daze, sits down in a daze, listens in a daze.]

But I...

[He’s not sure. He wants to say something, but it’s even harder when he knows he’s wrong.]

I wanted him to fucking... Can’t I try? One more time? I need to... I need to know he isn’t — I didn’t let him —

[Now, at last, he brings his arm around Maverick. He lets it rest behind his back, holding him steady. It's meant to comfort Maverick but he soon sees that it's not just that.

He angles himself then, bringing both arms around and hugging tight. That one... that one's for himself, his stern look falling away as he draws back.]

You want to know it was real. That he cared.

[He gets it. He doesn't have near the same nerve.]

I don't want you to get hurt. I want you to make sure, however you do this, you're safe. Okay? You promised me, mijo, and now you have to keep at that.

Stay safe. Make sure this gets out. Keep me in the know so I don't go crazy. Deal?

[He feels a rush of affection fo Héctor then, and if it were at all appropriate he might have grabbed his face and kissed him in gratitude. Instead, he settles for lifting his gaze to meet Héctor's, nods, and curses softly as he has to reach up and rub away a stray tear from his cheek. And he'd been doing so well...

But Héctor gets it, and of fucking course Héctor gets it, after their talks. One Ernesto is bad enough... Imagine there being another, an Ernesto that would go to such crude lengths to fool someone and who really would kill to get what he wanted. Haha.]

Y-yeah. I promise. God, if he fucking tries, I'm gonna kill him myself.

[He laughs a little, joyless and croaky, but it isn't much of a joke with how heavy and hollow his heart feels. To think he's gotten so rusty with his knife since coming to this school...]

If I don't think he's... [you know] You can gather a whole fucking mob, I don't -- I don't care. [He says, caringly, as he cares a lot.]

[~~He doesn't want to imagine.~~

He really isn't sure he does know. He's not sure of all too much at the moment.]

I'd really, really rather not have to do that.

[Along with the fact that Maverick cares a lot.]

Nobody has to die. Mind you, people are going to be angry. And all things considered, I can't blame them. Losing control like that is so much worse from the inside. And speaking from experience, trying to accept an apology from someone who has done something really terrible to you is... well, I couldn't do it. And that'll just have to be something Akechi accepts, whether or not there's a way to make things up.

You don't think I know that?

[He laughs again, and it comes out a little giddy this time even if he still can't feel any happiness at all.]

You don't think I'm fucking furious? You don't think I wanted to beat the shit outta him, after Toki? Fuck, if he wasn't so fucking pathetic --

[If Mav wasn't so fucking pathetic... But dimly, somewhere in his mind he registers Héctor saying he's speaking "from experience," and leans his head against his shoulder.]

I fucking hate this. Sorry I fucking -- just. Dragged you into it. After you went and calmed my panicking ass down back there and everything. Sorry.

[He lets Maverick rant. It's alright. It's only as the apologies start that he speaks up.]

Don't. I don't regret helping you out. And I'm really glad this wasn't just kept quiet for all that much longer.

[Because he's not sure this wouldn't have gotten worse.]

... It's a pretty shitty situation. I think you're more than allowed to hate it.

[Understatement. Fingers quaking, he moves to take Héctor's hand in his again. It's a small, stupid thing, but...it's what makes him feel closest to people.]

I don't know what I'm going to do. Not that that's...anything new, for me.

[His fingers curl around Maverick's and hold tight.]

You know what I think? I think people who say they know what they're doing are lying to themselves.

[He smiles just a little and leans to bump the boy's side.]

Do what you can. Just remember you can't make this perfect for everybody, so don't beat yourself up when all's said and done. You talk. One of you takes it to the faculty. After that's out of your hands.

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suicide attempt mention

suicide attempt mention

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